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Mar. 26th, 2008 @ 06:09 pm Check it out!

It's my art page on deviantart.com.

There's not much there but I'm working on it!
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Living In A Trashcan :: ?
Feb. 23rd, 2008 @ 01:23 pm Here we go again. . .
Current Location: home. . . on my bed, on my laptop
Current Mood: productiveproductive
Current Music: Taking Cassandra to the End of the World Party : Fear Before the March of Flames
I truly do mean to keep this up. But since I've moved I've got hill billy internet(a.k.a. it runs really really REALLY slow). Plus I've been busy with college, working in the stupid college office making $6 an hour, and trying to make a short film. College sucks, really it does. Mostly because of the math I'm taking this semester, and the art class I don't like as much as I thought I would. **sigh** Anyway, work sucks extra hard because now we can't wear jeans of t-shirt. So I had spend $200 I didn't really have to buy "business" clothes. . . Ewwwwwwww. BUT in good news the short film I'm working on with my friend Sarah is going super well. We almost have all the parts cast! and the screenplay is done!! Yayness! Helpful filming will begin shortly!! It's called "Virgin in the suburbs" I think it's wonderful!! If anyone wants to read a copy I can e-mail you one. But other then that nothing new I guess. . . OH!! I may be moving to Austin, TX. Yup, I'm leaving Oklahoma, but I'll prolly be so poor after college I'll come back to live with my parents. . . how sad. So yeah. . . plus my phone broke, it's been broken for like 3 weeks. I was suppose to get a new one 2 weeks ago, but it hasn't come in the mail yet. Grrrrrrrr. . .
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Living In A Trashcan :: ?
Aug. 27th, 2007 @ 01:52 pm Cookie Cutter
Current Mood: happyhappy
I just drew the best picture ever!! It's an emo ginger bread man!! get it cookie CUTTER!! Thanks John great idea!! I'll post a picture when I get the chance. . .
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Living In A Trashcan :: ?
Aug. 24th, 2007 @ 11:36 pm What I've been up to. . . (just my rabbling on about nothing)
Current Mood: creativecreative
Current Music: The buzzing of my computer
It's been some time since I wrote anything here. . . but this summer i moved to Claremore and found out I needed glasses, that could of helped me out a few takes when I was sitting in the back of a class but whatever. I'm eyesights not that bad I'm just alittle near sighted BUT thank goodness I got my glasses because I got my hair cut which I think only looks good when I have the glasses on. I got bangs. . . yup that's right bangs. At first my my new do looked older then me, like my hair was loose in the 80s for took long, so now I pull it over on the side, kinda emo but I can deal with it til my hair grows out again (i wonder how long that will take)

On top of that I finally started college which is alright. I don't think it can be too bad since my college campus is just a tiny bit large then my high school one. I taking 15 credit hours which I don't think I'll do again, I'm too lazy for that PLUS I'm in no hurry to graduate when I don't even now what the hell I when do with my life. . . **sigh** I'll figure it out soon enough. I should probable being reading some chapter in some book but I can't focus long enough to actually do that so I thought I'd update this little thing. So there ya go. I've also started writing a story I have no idea how any of it is going to work out, but I thought I'd at least try. . . Maybe if I like it I'll post some of it.

Anyway that's all for now. . .

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Living In A Trashcan :: ?
Jan. 9th, 2007 @ 07:11 pm And I return. . .
Current Music: fall out boy :: this ain't a scene, it's an arms race
Wow another worthless LJ post! Go me. . . anyway something always bring me back here, something I can't really explain it. ** la sigh** Anyway, I have this going through my head but there's not much I can do about that. . . but its so damn catchy! lol I am in the strangest mood of my life. Opposite, is the best way to explain it. . . I'm tired yet hyper, down in the dumps but on top of the world. . . I don't know if I should smile and luagh or forwn and cry. . .

I'm in a limbo of emotion. . . I think what makes it worse is that I have way to describe it. . .

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Living In A Trashcan :: ?
Jan. 6th, 2007 @ 09:07 am Wow! 2 post actually close together!
Current Mood: exhaustedexhausted
Current Music: The Audition :: Don't Be So Hard
It's too bad I actually have anything to say, I dont have enough time between work and school keep up with these blog, BUT I got another. . . Facebook i am intimidated by it but I guess I'll learn. So now I have 674564786567 online blogs, and ALOT of them are dead, and the others. . . just hanging on by a string. . . 

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Living In A Trashcan :: ?
Dec. 26th, 2006 @ 08:27 pm Wow. . . can't believe I'm back here

So once again I find my way back to Livejournal. . .  I have nothing of any importance to say. . . life is well, and working out. . . even though it may being boring as hell. I'm in NY right now, with family. . .  kinda but it boring. . . Sorry you'd think that I would have something to say. . . but nope. . .

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Living In A Trashcan :: ?
May. 17th, 2006 @ 05:35 pm (no subject)
Don't you just hate it when you forget your password. . . or passwords. . .

What to do, what to do. . .

ugh. . . goin' to work soon. . . **sigh** I hate Sonic. . .
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Living In A Trashcan :: ?
May. 16th, 2006 @ 06:19 pm WOW!
I miss this thing. . . so why don't I update anymore? I dunno. . . right now xanga is my #1 journal thingie. . . Since my last update. . . I dunno why tpye that stuff here? Why do I keep coming back here. . . like there is something here. . . ha. ha. ha. like this is a really place.

Anyway, my tech is going wonderfully. Photography is something I've come to love soooo much. Wow. . .

Anyway, if no one has heard I've resently started a photo-blog. . . so check it out. . .

Click Here to See. . . just tell me what ya think. (Plus there are Ren. Fest. pictures!!)
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Living In A Trashcan :: ?
Feb. 4th, 2006 @ 10:06 pm The Unseen and Unknown
Current Mood: lethargiclethargic
Current Music: Blood (Empty Promises) By Papa Roach

Long time. . . you ever wonder where it all goes. . . They say that matter can't just disappear. . . so what about time and feelings. . . what about those. . . Chemicals released in your brain are still atoms. . . Time, how can I speak and understand.

feelings are caused by chemicals. . . so what happens after the love/hate passes. . . where do all those chemicals go? Is that what causes memories? Why when you think back to a crush you get those same feelings you did before? You can blush and smile for no reason to all those people around you.Why when you think of someone who hurt you, you can still feel hurt and want to cry? Are those Chemicals just stored up?

Time, I don't know, one minute is one thing the next another, where does it go. It seems like last year I was starting 8th grade, meeting the people who have made me who I am. Then it's like 9th grade, bumming rides with Lacey and Ashly to feed our Ren. Faire fix, By Fridays we jump with joy and plan our rides, always last minute. . . then. . . I don't even need to say it. . . then its. . . now. . . where I'm more confused about myself then I've ever been before. . .

I wish could understand it all, none of my past seems to be me anymore. . .

Yet, it has all lead to Who I am today. . .

I seem to just runaway from all my problems, is that why I have an obsession with leaving Here. . . to try once again to escape everything, even myself. So I can start over and be a me I'm really not. To act my way through life. . . don't you just wish this life was just partice. . . how much you change. . . everything just one or two things? Are you happy with the way things have turned out to the point that you would change nothing?

I wonder. . . could I see my life in a different light? Or do I forget it all start over like I've always planned? And I just keep starting over? Always moving. . . always changing. . . a fucking actor. . . never really me. . .



or is that excactly who I am. . . an Actor. . .


I feel so odd all the time. . . off. . . like I missed some clue, a god damn memo about the rules and shortcuts to a happier life. . .

I don't know. . .

I know it's pitiful. . .

I feel like people hate me, even when they smile at chat with me. . . like inside they think such horrible thoughts about me, I hate walking by people and they get quite. . . laugh after I've walked by. . .

I worry to much, I shouldn't really care. . .

Whatever. . . why have I even come back to this site. . . again

I realize that the things I feel are not as important to me as they are to other people. . .

For those who still read this, and care, I wont be doing Faire this year. . . not because of poor grades or people (So i tell myself) but because I need to work on better grades to get more money to go to Brooks Institute of Photography I know I can't pay for it by myself, or even with the help of my parents. . .  but I feel this need to run so my plan is to go to Brooks so I can go to CA and be as far away as possible.

I still plan on visiting faire(And I will still call it faire) and taking pictures, I will post them or give them to those who want them afterwards. . . I will still dress up and I won't be a play-tron.

I know I will miss it all, but I don't feel the need to return to faire.

It's like getting out of rehab, I was addictted to faire, being so far from it, I no longer feel the way I did before. I would love to be in Faire again, but it makes no differance to my future anymore, I knwo I will never be the Acting Star I've dreamed of being, being a Life Changing Photographer is pushing it.

Anyway, That's all. I welcome ALL to talk and add me at Xanga :: Cheshire_Smile AIM :: Cheshire Reality or my Myspace(rarely updated) :: Rose_Tinted

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Living In A Trashcan :: ?